And Then We Had Kids... - I Do Every Day - September 16

And then we had kids …

By Lisa Lakey 

Before kids, my husband and I went to movies not rated G. We dined at restaurants that didn’t offer disposable cups or booster seats. We spent our weekends doing whatever we wanted, staying up late, sleeping in later.

Then we became parents. And our entire universe shifted. Overpriced, chef-prepared meals morphed into a Chik-fil-A drive-thru. Dinners at home became a frenzied rush to feed an overtired, hungry toddler before we all started crying.

Even simple conversation took a hit. Days would go by without meaningful talks between the two of us. We were slowly drifting away from each other.

The worst part? We didn’t even notice.

It’s a slow fade from connect to disconnect in marriage. It takes effort for couples to stay connected emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Disconnecting is easy—it sneaks up on you while you’re busy doing life.

But for my husband and me to connect as one was God’s original engineering for marriage (Genesis 2:24). Jesus reaffirmed this when the Pharisees tried to trap Him with questions about the lawfulness of divorce. Jesus replied, “Have you not read … ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?'” (Matthew 19:3-5). 

God knew two would be better than one—and that the two needed to become one. It’s a godward, intentional effort to “hold fast” to my spouse, even during the busy (and temporary) season of raising children.

What will you do to stay close?

Read on for ways to stay connected even during the parenting years.

The good stuff: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Action points: What phase of life are you in right now? Is anything about this phase causing you to drift from your spouse? Discuss ways you two can reconnect even when life circumstances threaten to pull you apart. 

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