Grandparenting

There is a secret that the most exemplary givers of gifts all share in common. They understand that a quality gift is not about the cost or the size of the present, but instead, it speaks directly to a deep desire within each human being to feel loved and known.

“Put it back. It doesn’t work!”I had just put my favorite moisturizer into my buggy with my five-year-old granddaughter. She was just learning to read.“What?”Carson pointed to the card. “See. It says ‘Gets rid of wrinkles in just two weeks.’ You don’t need to buy this. It doesn’t work.”My granddaughter didn’t even crack a smile as she assessed my impending purchase. Why? Because it wasn’t funny to her. It was matter-of-fact. I had been using this wrinkle cream for a long time, much more than two weeks, and Carson was right. My wrinkles were still there.But the greatest thing about that conversation was that none of my wrinkles mattered to my granddaughter.Grandchildren love their grandparents no matter what. They are aware that grandparents move a little slower, can’t jump very high (if they can jump at all!), don’t see much without their glasses or hear much without their hearing aids, and more.But the unconditional love between a grandparent and grandchild is a bond that will only grow stronger as their relationship grows. The grandchild-grandparent relationship is special and unlike any other.Grandparents can be a tremendous source of support for the parents. But in order for them to not overstep their roles, they must know where the boundaries are. Both parents and grandparents want only the best for the same children.So how can they work together to make sure they are working to accomplish the same goals?Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

If you passed my grandmother on the street in the 1970s, you’d have been unimpressed. A World War I immigrant who dropped out of school in the fourth grade to work in a textile mill, she looked like every other Portuguese grandmother in town.She wore a kerchief, sturdy shoes, and stockings. Granny carried a big black purse and smelled faintly of cabbage and coffee. She loved children, soap operas, and laughter.Granny had a big personality in a small body. When she was happy, she’d throw her head back and cackle. When she was mad, you’d better run. Words I could never find in my Portuguese/English dictionary flew out of her mouth like fireworks on the Fourth of July.She spent most of her life caring for other people’s children. She never learned to drive, never owned a house, and never left a bill unpaid. Of all the people who have touched my life, my grandmother made one of the greatest impacts. Now that I’m a grandmother (four grands and counting), I think often about my granny’s legacy. And I think about my own. What do I want to teach my grandchildren? What virtues do I want to pass along? What memories do I hope to make with them?One thing I know for sure—if I want our time together to be meaningful, I can’t just wish it. I have to intentionally make it so. Here are 5 ways to make time with your grandchildren more meaningful.

Whether you’re new at this grandparenting gig, or you’ve been at it for years, I’m sure you’d agree there’s a balance we must find between supporting versus controlling our adult children.

We live in a very "me" centered society. The focus on "what I want" or "I need" is always the center of attention. Comparing ourselves to others who seem perfect can be easy and lead to feeling inadequate. It's even easier to forget to be thankful for what we have. In doing this as adults, we make an impression on our children, too. Mistakenly, they learn to strive to get more things rather than being content with what they have. It's very easy to lose sight of an attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving. As grandparents, you have a golden opportunity to influence your grandkids. Here are some ways to sow seeds of thanksgiving in them and teach them the importance of being thankful for what they have.

If you have grandkids you know how hard it is to not be too pushy with your opinions or “great ideas” to be helpful. You know what I’m talking about: The baby has croup. It sounds horrible. You’ve been there many times when your kids were little. You know that sitting with the baby near a steaming shower will do wonders, but your kids insist on researching on the internet, or taking him to the emergency room. What do you do? Do you speak up? Tell them not to go to the hospital? No? I mean, what if the cough is more serious and needs immediate medical attention?You get the picture. And I’m sure you're nodding your head in agreement if you’ve ever been in this situation. Or, maybe the circumstance is not a health issue. Maybe it’s a suggestion you’d like to make about potty training, discipline, education, or money saving tips. Being “helpful” is not always helpful––as my husband often reminds me.Whether you’re new at this grandparenting gig, or you’ve been at it for years, I’m sure you’d agree there’s a balance we must find between supporting versus controlling our adult children.(In the case that you are a grandparent who is actually the primary caretaker for your grandchild or grandchildren, you are not alone—however, the insights in this article will not as likely speak to your situation. Know that my heart goes out to you. I pray God grants you His strength and wisdom as you take on this role!)With all this in mind, let’s visit 10 ways grandparents can support their children while still letting them lead their families.

Every family has family traditions they do on Thanksgiving. Watching the football game or taking a nap after dinner. Some people go to the movies on Thanksgiving night. Others spend the rest of the day preparing for that big black Friday shopping blitz. Instead of doing the traditional things this Thanksgiving, start some new traditions with your grandchildren.

Your home can become holy ground as you share your faith with your children and grandchildren. What is the best way to do that?

When your grandchildren visit, you may say, "I am so delighted you are here. You are such a wonderful gift from God." You may adopt a gratitude moment at meals. You may simply choose to hug them every time you see them and call out something you love about them.

Despite the ever-changing world around us, as grandparents, we have a unique opportunity to dig in and support our children as they navigate the task of parenting in a difficult world. Here are three ways that you can assist your children in their parenting efforts that will stand the test of time in an ever-changing world.

Your grandchildren will cherish time with you. Your children will cherish your investment in their children. But it does require communication, cooperation, respect, and healthy boundaries.

The very last thing we ever want to convey to our grandchildren is that they are a nuisance or unwelcome in our homes. Here are some tips to follow so your grandkids know they are wanted, and that they can have a great time!

To the psalmist, grandparenthood is one of God’s great blessings. In Psalm 128, a Song of Ascent sung by travelers walking the dusty roads to Jerusalem, the psalmist lists the blessings God often bestows on those who love God: the ability to enjoy the fruit of our labor, a joy-filled home, and many children.With a flourish, he tops his ice cream sundae of blessings with the proverbial cherry: “May you live to see your children’s children.”Author Bryna Nelson Paston writes, “Truth be told, being a grandma is as close as we ever get to perfection. The ultimate warm sticky bun with plump raisins and nuts. Clouds nine, ten, and eleven.”If you have grandchildren, you know what I’m talking about. Today, let’s consider 10 top privileges of grandparenting.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Jovanmandic

Fall is a great time of year to do things with your grandkids. The weather is cooler and more comfortable, and there are all kinds of special things to do this time of year. Watching the wonder on their faces is also fun as they hunt for the perfect pumpkin or eye that delicious caramel apple treat. If you have a date planned soon, here are some activities you can do outdoors, things to go see indoors, and activities to do when the rainy fall chill rolls in and your plans have to change.

Grandparents who help with the family’s homeschool program gain immense satisfaction and enjoyment from helping their grandchildren grow and mature. Grandchildren who learn from grandparents forever cherish the memories of the time they spent together.