By Amanda Idleman, Crosswalk.com
All marriages face problems at one point. We are all humans in relationships and face disagreements and sin. When we are struggling with a troubled marriage, where can we find hope? The Bible offers verses that can help save your broken marriage, with the work of the Holy Spirit. When you feel tensions rise, allow God to speak to your heart through these Scriptures.
The most important thing is to care enough to do something. Far too often, people do nothing because they fear they might do the wrong thing. While it is possible to do the wrong thing, doing nothing is DEFINITELY the wrong thing. Do not hesitate to ask for assistance to help a marriage in crisis. Reach out to a trusted pastor or a Christian counselor to begin the teamwork process of talking through your marriage problems.
Truly, it is only God’s grace that can redeem deep hurts that at times bring us to the point that our marriage feels as though it’s failing. Let’s explore some scriptures on marriage restoration on how we can apply them to our lives:
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Bible Verses to Save Marriage
1. Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
Have you ever been so angry with your spouse not for what they said but how they said it? Proverbs clearly illustrates this practical truth: the tone we use in our daily conversation can have a hefty effect on the kind of response we get from those around us. In married life, conflict tends to start in the subtext of our interactions. A snippy tone, rolled eyes, a short response, or even a rushed exchange can be the kindling for major conflict.
We have to be vigilant not to let careless responses steal the tenderness and joy from our marriages. Be quick to listen when your spouse comments on your tone. It’s easy to let your hackles go up as soon as your spouse comments on your grumpiness or lack of grace in the tone you are taking. Rather than seeing their observations as an invitation to fight, see it as a red flag that tells you it’s time to stop and consider the state of your heart.
2. Colossians 3:12 says, “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
If we have lost the connection with our spouse, one way to rebuild what we once had is through connecting heart-to-heart; which means connecting emotionally before anything else. To accomplish this we first and foremost need the power of God that gives us tenderness, gentleness, kindness, humility, and lots of patience that is listed in Colossians.
While we all aspire to offer our spouses these sorts of responses, without the help of Jesus our selfish and impatient human nature wins out way more than we would like.
Practically living out these traits most times looks like you offer a listening ear. We need to use tenderness when our spouse is facing a situation where they are struggling to navigate.
When you do choose to speak, use affirming words that let them know that you hear them and see that they are burdened. Remind them you are on their team and even if what they face is challenging they are not on their own.
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Scriptures on Marriage Restoration
3. Ephesians 4:32 says “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Do you know how many times you have to say sorry to the same person in order to stay connected over a lifetime? A lot of times. The struggle is that those “sorries” become harder to say and even harder to accept. Bitterness begins to form in lieu of forgiveness.
Don’t get discouraged and stop apologizing because you think your words are of no effect. Apologies will never stop being needed in a committed relationship. Even more than that keep on forgiving. Jesus said we forgive endlessly and He surely had marriage in mind when he gave that advice. It’s not easy but making a life together means a million apologies and a million and one times to forgive!
4. Hebrews 10: 24-25 says, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
We all have heard the “it takes a village” saying when it comes to kids. The same is true for strong, healthy, and Godly marriages. Accountability is vital to a healthy marriage and particularly important when you are working to restore the broken spaces of your marriage.
For seasons, your village could even be a professional Christian counselor. The power of meeting together with a professional with the set intention of doing better at loving one another is unbelievable.
When marriage hits a part of life that knocks the wind out of us; it’s not giving up to call for reinforcements. In fact, God honors when we reach out to find wisdom. Don’t be afraid to grow your village!
It may require a sacrifice of time or vulnerability but it can make all the difference when fighting to restore your relationship.
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Bible Verses for Failing Marriage
5. Psalm 56:7 says “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.”
When we are facing the heartache of failure in our relationship, fear can become our companion. Fear of the future, fear of continuing to get it wrong, fear that God or others may be disappointed in you, and the list goes on.
The simple truth that when we are afraid, we should trust God can help give us proper perspective in these difficult moments. God is with you in this trial and will not leave or forsake you, no matter what the future holds.
6. Proverbs 10:28 says, “The hope of the righteous will be gladness, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.”
Life is serious enough, as couples we need to be reminded to laugh together to help ease the tension that a failing marriage holds. Laughter is a great reminder of the joy of being together.
In the Bible, Nehemiah, encourages the people by telling them that the joy of the Lord is their strength. Strength is not found in being so busy or so put together that you don’t have time to crack a smile. Strength comes when we slow down long enough to experience God’s joy in our lives.
If you are at your brink, pause and remember the last time you laughed. Think about the activities and memories that brought you and your spouse together to begin with. Commit to doing things that bring smiles to your faces together again.
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Scripture for a Troubled Marriage
7. 1 Corinthians 8:1 says, “Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that “We all possess knowledge.” But knowledge puffs up while love builds up.”
Knowledge focuses on winning, being right, and ultimately on you. Love builds up the people in your life. When our marriage is facing trouble we need to step back from winning in our conversations and focus on showing love in our interactions.
We have nothing if we don’t have love. How many hours of arguments would be saved if we could catch what Paul is trying to show us! When we live with love, our relationships come first and our opinions come last.
8. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.”
The battle for a joy-filled marriage starts in the mind. The state of our marriage frequently reflects how well we know our God. When we are living a spirit-filled life, it is then we can more easily see when our attitudes or thoughts don’t align with the instructions of Christ.
In order to find joy in our relationship we have to be dialed into the Holy Spirit. We must allow the Spirit to convict us when our thoughts don’t align with the truth of God’s word for our marriage.
Paul tells us we have to actually “teach” our thoughts to obey Christ. We cannot be passive about what’s going on in our minds. The way we win joy for our marriages is by training our minds to expect it.
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Bible Verses to Heal a Broken Marriage
9. Romans 13:8 says, “Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law.”
The Bible teaches that we have one obligation to one another: which is love. When we want to heal the feeling of being unloved by our spouse it helps to remember that your husband or wife is your closest neighbor. If you are offering them the scraps of your mood, time, and commitment then you are not following God’s instruction for your life.
If we want to get on the same team as couples we have to cultivate a culture of honest and open communication in our home. Focus on communicating the details of your every day, your gratitude for each other, and share openly how you are feeling.
Communication grows connection which leads to being able to love one another well again.
10. Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”
To rebuild intimacy in our relationships offering each other empathetic responses is necessary. The building blocks of a solid relationship happen in the tiny overtures we make all throughout the day. It’s as simple as kindly pausing what you are doing to fully hear the concerns of your spouse.
It’s choosing to smile rather than scowl when things don’t go as planned. It’s choosing to respond warmly when our other half gets our attention. A warm tone builds trust. It says that you are safe to share with, that you are on the same team, and that you are willing to try to understand each other’s point-of-view.
Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for the Daily Bible Devotions App, she has work published with Her View from Home, also for the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. You can find out more about Amanda on her blog or follow her on Instagram.
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